I've been meaning to discuss one of the first, and possibly the hardest, goals for 2009- to join the Commit to Be Fit- at my kickboxing gym- is one week away. I have butterflies as I type that.
I am loathe to divulge the nitty gritty. But if Stoner can post before and after pictures, then I suppose I can TYPE the progress so far, and maybe inspire someone like the Wonderful Miss MA, who is looking toward her first 5K! So here goes: "The Story"
I have battled with my weight since the glory years College. I don't think I really paid much attention to my "yo-yo" (well, acknowledged that it was happening) until about 1995 when I moved to Vegas, became unhappy in an abusive relationship, smoked an inordinate amount, drank more, amoung other things. I don't think being Emeril Lagasses' pastry chef didn't help, as I was surrounded by amazing food and wine the entire time I was in Vegas. Yum. I still have dreams about the BBQ Shrimp and Rosemary biscuits, as well as the Foie Gras stuffed Tuna. A good friend, we'll call him Sea Urchin, visited me, and we had a 10 course meal made by the Chef that blew anything I had every eaten up to that point OUT of the water. Can you say Lobster and potato tower? And lest we forget my favorite Hispanic crew who kept me in Chilequiles...Never to this day have I found this dish anywhere that can compete.
As usual, I digress...Well, I gained something like 30 pounds I think. I went from a curvy size 10 to a very voluptuous size 16. This continued for years. The ignoring the weight, the depression from the weight, the comments from family, the complete loss at what to do. I never was good at exercising. I didn't want to. It was MUCH more fun to frolic with my friends after hours and drink fabulous wines, cook elaborate meals, bake up a storm. I had fun, but there was always this underlying issue. I was overweight.
In 2002, I nearly gave up all hope, as I ruptured a disk and couldn't walk for about 6 months. I could hobble, but walking was nearly out of the question. I was on crazy drugs, and I ballooned even more than I could even admit to this day. After surgery in late 2002, I tried physical therapy and hated it, so I made an investment to a personal trainer. This was solely for gaining back movement and starting my path to become stronger. This became NOT an objective of "loose weight and all your problems will go away" but "get fit, or you'll never be able to do anything again: pick up my nephews, wear heels, go swimming, run after a Frisbee, be whole". I think this pinpoints when my mindset STARTED to change, but not when it actually solidified. I worked out on and off for the next two years, but going back to work, life in general, started to disintegrate my "need to be fit"- I could start doing things again, and then I forgot my commitment to myself.
In about 2005, I was talking with 2 very dear guy friends, and they were discussing their weight, and I realized I weighed more than each of them. Now, I didn't have a relationship with a scale, I still don't own one, but often I would step on one when I saw one- so when I say I weighed more than them, I didn't know how much more. During this time it had also become evident that I was having issues with food- I had psoriasis, I had stomach issues, I had roseacea: I new something was up. So 2005 marks the year I started to work out again, and started to look at my food. I had a gal pal at work, we'll call her "Crazy Horse" who was also still unhappy with her weight. We decided to go to Jenny Craig. That move marks the first most successful attempt at weight loss since 1995. In TEN YEARS!! I weighed about 190-195 going in, and went down to about 170 when I quit "the program". Again with the other part of life getting in the way.
In the beginning of 2007, some health issues were really dragging me down, and with my Naturopath in Seattle, we began working on food- allergies- did an elimination diet. We were pretty certain I was Celiac (questions on Celiac, please go visit Shauna's site- it's a treasure trove). I was to eat no dairy, wheat, soy, tomatoes, garlic, onions, sugar...oh yeah, and corn. That's basically nothing but fruits, whole grains and vegetables. I couldn't afford the $400 Celiac panel, so this was cheaper to try to figure out what I was actually intolerant of. It's at this time I started to really begin the scrutiny of how what we eat affects us as a whole. I read Jenny McCarthy's book (I can't remember how I even got the book), and I was intrigued by the relationship of dairy, sugar and wheat to different disorders and "spikes" in behavior. I am still intrigued by this.
Then came the move to Oregon in June of 2007, to a strange area, not near the city. We were packing, I had no pots and pans, we were short on funds, there was a LOT of pizza. My elimination diet went down the drain. I pretty much also lost my support group- I had a few friends already here in Portland, but they were busy with their own lives. I had a challenging job. My relationship flourished, but we lived in 600 square feet, so we went out a lot. Almost every day. There was drinking out, eating out. I met my dear friend Aqua right away, but we didn't start to become close for a few months. We hadn't really talked about our paths being similar enough to get into an exercise regime right away, but we did slowly discuss food, fitness, goals. I tried Yoga with her (anything but Bikram's I tend to not enjoy). I tried to get K out to do things like play Frisbee, run on the beach. I thought about joining a gym. One day, which you can reference here, on the blog, Aqua challenged me with "I won us a free week of Kickboxing". We made fun of ourselves, we giggled at the image of us kicking and boxing and rolling on the floor laughing. Aqua is truly a "woman's woman" she's full of support, wisdom, advice, and most of all, fun. Armed and ready, we went. We had a blast. And I fell in love. Deep abiding- "Holy Crap" this is what it means to love working out!
Since then, for the last 5 months, I have been working out 2-3 times a week at the kickboxing Dojo. It's the community that keeps me tied in that I love the most. The support there is endless. Everyone is ready to talk about anything. Those with more experience are willing to assist those with less. I see people sharing lives there now- and I am sharing mine with a few of the people too, and feel blessed to do so. Now, when I started in June of last year, I had been to my doctor for my yearly exam, and when they weighed me I was at a...ready? Okay, I guess I'm ready to type this number...A Whopping 200 pounds. I couldn't believe it. The one thing I always said I wouldn't do is break 200. Here it was staring me in the face. About 3 months in, back in October, I had a little accident in Seattle which required a little visit to my doctor. I hopped on the scale. Took a deep breath, Gulp...it said 189 pounds. Okay, so that's 11 pounds gone. Okay, I can maybe live with these changes. Lest I forget- kickboxing has an added benefit- I AM A NICER, more patient, and more caring Jill. True. It's a great outlet...
So during the last 5 months I've had this wish to join the Commit to Be Fit Program. It's not cheap. It's a huge commitment, of time, of mind, of soul. I'm so ready. I'm ready to begin the last lap of committing to a healthy lifestyle. Over the last 5 months, Aqua and I have also shared info on food, I've read numerous books, and I've done a lot of revising on ingredients. I also discovered with my new Doctor- I'm not Celiac, I have a dairy intolerance. So I am on the path of a Vegan. I am reluctant to give up bacon- but ready to give up the rest. This will make going out to eat a difficult endeavor, but I have designs on cooking more, and this will have to be the case. I said it, Vegan!! I have "Skinny Bitch" to thank for some of it- but I was on this path already. I have ordered Michael Pollan's "In Defense Of Food. It arrives this week, and I am looking forward to gleaning more wisdom. This is truly about changing your way of life. I don't want a diet. I can't live in a world without chocolate. BUT, I can take control over what I put in my body, what I do with my body. And I know my body with thank me. I am also really after getting strong. I mean, doesn't watching the Olympics inspire this in all of us? Look at what our human bodies can DO...it's crazy! So I want to be the best I can be- strong, eating well, ready for anything! As well as kind and gentle and wise... I can't forget those.
So, my friends, for the next 12 weeks, this may just turn into a lifestyle blog involving exercise and eating choices. Bear with me. What I truly hope, is that I can be of some inspiration and share some good ideas. There is bound to be recipes, pictures, measurements, workout info...you name it, I'm sure it might appear here the next 12 weeks. I have no doubt this is a life change I have already committed to, and one I will be happy to keep.
Oh, and in case you were wondering, I stepped on Frosties scale before I left for Seattle, and it said 179. So yes, I have been successful at dropping weight, becoming stronger, and eating better, without even feeling like I gave up anything. Now I can do 20 push ups, too. And I can do an entire kickboxing class with nary a break for water. And I can do crunches continuously for 6 minutes (in different positions). AND, I can punch the bees-jeez-is out of the bag!
Also, as a note, when I went to Seattle, I realized that my family puts dairy in EVERYthing- and I came back to Portland sick, lethargic, I had that gross feeling back, I was in the bathroom again all the TIME, I think on the train on the way back I had to go about 5 times- in a 3 hour trip. I think they don't think it's real. I imagine they've always seen me as "hypochondriac", but considering my migraines have subsided, I am successfully loosing weight, I only poop about 2 times a day*, and I am no longer sick to my stomach or tired all the time- I can honestly say that when someone says they CAN'T have something- we should ALL honor that. That means, don't add butter. Don't add a dash of cream. If you can't cook for a guest, then let them know. I haven't pushed this with the fam yet- but it's coming. I made the decision to eat some cheese over the holidays, and I can honestly say, that was the wrong decision! I have a great hope all of us in the world can better respect one another and our choices in 2009.
Good Luck, right? I'm excited! Glad to have you on my journey...should be pretty fun.
XOXO
*People, I was poopin' like no one's business. I was missing life spending it in the bathroom- it was something like 8-10 times a day, every day. We thought it was nerves once, but man, I'm not THAT nervous! Now that I'm "clean" I can even feel the butter they put on my rice yesterday when we went out to eat. It's not pretty. It's gross, and I hate it, but I am SO happy to have found the culprit!
